fuck this. i waited two weeks for the car to be done w repairs and shit just for my dad to tell me i cant drive??? once again fuck this. this now just means im gonna have to smoke to distract myself from my own fucking mind and i hate smoking because the more i smoke the more life sucks when im sober but but i would rather have a couple of hours being stoned then give it up so i cant even complain since this is my fault for trying it in the first place LOLLLL WHY DID I DO THIS.
gosh i find a way to ruin fucking everything and i mean every. thing. i srsly dont know how to be fucking human.
knowing i cant go out for atleast 5 weeks sux!!!! i wanna die
life would be so much easier if i just killed myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do it do it do it
i would give anything to not be this big ball full of anger. i dont know why im always so angry like always so angry that i dont even try to control it when im with people anymore, its just me being fuck this fuck that fuck you fuck everyone ALL THE TIME. but fucking why, there was nothing to even trigger this ive just been angry as long as i remember. and there are bits of myself i FEAR because of how bad it is, right now i couldnt imagine hurting anyone unless they deserved it but when im having a "episode" i swear i could just grap ANYONE and rip them to bits because the anger the flows through my veins is generally something you will never be able to grasp unless youve experienced it. everyone is so fucking oblivous to whats going on they may aswell just be dead ( no im not talking about the virus) and if you uderstand what im talking about then congrats ur not oblivious. anyways time to get fucking high
get me out of here